the mysterious case of the disappearing bar man...

I met the bar man a number of months ago now. Not surprisingly, in the bar at which he worked. He is tall, tallness is a thing for me, instantly gets my attention. I couldn't tell you much else about how he looks because other than that first meeting, I've never seen him in person.

I can't really explain what it was about the bar man that seemed promising, other than his height, but before I left the bar, I made sure I left a note with my name on it. I couldn't bring myself to just put my number out there and I figured in this day and age if he had my name he could find me on Facebook.

Two days later I checked my 'other' inbox on Facebook, and low and behold there was a message from him. All the signals seemed so good, I replied, we added each other on Facebook, a message here, a message there and then...nothing.

He disappeared. I didn't really think anything of it though, I didn't know him, and even though that initial message had suggested something he clearly wasn't interested. I forgot about it.

He occasionally liked my statuses. But that was it.

Then one day he popped up 'Boo.'

Now a boo out of the blue is never welcome, not least because boo is possibly the most irritating way of ever starting a conversation. But I responded none the less. Conversation was good if sporadic. He had an irritating habit of 'seeing' my message and not replying (just a note for Facebook here, that seen tick, is the worst thing you have ever done, the phrase 'ignorance is bliss' springs to mind) or disappearing mid chat.

It was beginning to get irritating, particularly when, he would ignore my conversation but like a photo or a status, but then once more, he disappeared entirely. Part of me was relieved, it was clearly going no where, he had never asked for my number and never asked about meeting, but the distraction had been welcoming.

A few weeks later up he popped. Conversation for 3 days, frequent and always with a reply. Then an offer of cake and meeting. OH EXCEPT he was leaving the country the next day.

An empty offer then, but this is where it gets really annoying. He goes on holiday, and messages me every day. More than he ever did when he was in the same city. I will confess, I was getting my hopes up.

He returns to the country and the first message he sends me was him stating that his frequency of conversation would be improved if he actually used his phone instead of Facebook and here was his number.

I text him.

It took two days for him to reply. And he did it on Facebook.

That was it for me, this was clearly nothing more than a distraction, for him, and I was going to treat it the same way.

I even called him out on it one day. After another empty suggestion of a meeting, I replied 'Just to clarify when we meet we are going to...' and then listed everything he suggested we should do.

'Haha, yeah something like that, when you free ha'

I said Saturday, and then disappeared and made plans with some one else. I wasn't mad I had just got bored.

Since then I briefly dated some one else (The Actor – another story all together) and have chatted to one or two other fellas, but now he is back. Popping up once again on my Facebook screen, he apparently has a week off next week, and still has to take me out. He wants to know if I'm free on Tuesday.

I'm not, but I've suggested Wednesday instead.

I'm not getting my hopes up, but I do feel the need to actually meet him. All this social media and textual flirtation may well fall flat face to face, but the Bar Man is a mystery that needs to be solved. Not just for me but for all the friends who are now equally as irritated by the lack of closure.

I wonder if the story would have been different if I'd by passed Facebook all together and just left my number... I'll keep you posted!